Workplace Anger
The Workplace is a ready made disaster before you get there. Other people, other expectations, other tempers, idiosyncrasies, smells, all under one roof seamlessly working together under a wonderful boss, what could possibly go wrong? You are different, maybe went to H.R, maybe accepts a change is necessary. Our Anger Monkey sessions will only focus on exactly what the flashpoints are and neutralize them. We will devise a game plan based on your feedback, you should notice the difference in a few weeks. Below is a sample of what we teach.
Expectations are Resentments...
An expectation is an unspoken rule, our should on someone's free will. Expectations' are overarching assumptions based on our worldview, upbringing, morals and experience. Expectations very rarely are spoken and if they are we should be very careful in having any, because "expectations are resentments waiting to happen". You tell the kid who mows your lawn, "Do a good job" (a spoken expectation) he does a great job and broke all your sprinkler heads, skips town on his bicycle. Expectations give us the illusion of control over people we can't possibly control, what purpose do they actually serve other than breaking our hearts when our "should's" aren't realized
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The Work Project​
You are working on a high pressure project with four people you know well, no expectations you decide, the project is a success and you are surprised because you know these people and had no expectations. Reverse the scenario, you do have expectations, it's a nightmare because they let you down multiple times and you end up in H.R. calling Anger Monkey. What are you thinking if I say, "Don't have any expectations?". Do you feel a pushback, a little irritation, a little loss of control? The question is why, as if you have any control of what others will do? Just try it.​​
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Assertive communication asserts that people need to understand our purpose and angle in a given situation of this type. If most people don't know what you are thinking during a conversation chances are good you don't know what they are thinking, we only think we do. One can't assume that someone "get's it" or is even paying attention, one can listen without paying attention while thinking about biscuits and gravy. This takes discernment, if someone says, "I get it!", then we know what they are thinking. Listening is the key because from the tongue the mind speaks, great communicators are good listeners.​​
AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION
If the situation calls for one to speak assertively, they know what their goal is and what they are going to say. For the passive aggressive, they will find someone else to say it, but for the aggressive communicator they look forward to it. Often aggressive communication involves threats of punitive repercussions, employs shame and guilt as motivators, employs an oppositional conversation style designed to make one frustrated and angry. A monkey will make threatening noises and puff out it's butt to make a point, same here, voice pitch, tone enunciation and volume are exaggerated with sharpened facial features.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION
For the passive aggressive assertive communication is difficult because it could involve conflict or a rejection for his efforts. Pre thought is the key, pretend you are playing a roll in a movie where you need to speak assertively (don't laugh, passive aggressive's will understand) play the scene in your head, this will allow you to not "take yourself too serious", so what if you're rejected it's not catastrophic. Adjusting ones "style" of communication takes practice and some thought.
WHO SAYS YOU CANT CHANGE
